Round I go again on the rollercoaster …

After weeks of nothing, this week has seen a few developments on the house moving front. I feel quite giddy.

Monday morning – offer accepted on the House of Bankruptcy (i.e. the one I can’t afford but want to buy anyway).

Monday lunchtime – phone call from Your Move’s Bexleyheath branch to tell me an older couple are desperate to view my house NOW. I can’t get home until around half past six but they are so mad keen to buy that they will hang around until then. They have a buyer for their house so the chain would be complete. They have seen the outside of my house and love it. I can almost visualise myself signing the contracts …

Monday afternoon – the older couple are not coming. He has been “taken ill” and they have had to go home. The agent will phone them tomorrow.

Tuesday afternoon – no news from Your Move so I phone them. The agent hasn’t wanted to bother the older couple in case the husband is very ill. She will phone me as soon as they catch up. The couple REALLY want my house. Needless to say I haven’t heard from the agent again.

Wednesday afternoon – a call from the Halifax, my new agency. Just checking everything is good to go for them taking over the marketing of my property from the truly incompetent Your Move in Northumberland Heath. Apparently they will phone me once a week even if there’s no progress to explain to me why there hasn’t been any. Hmmm …

Late Wednesday afternoon – Your Move in Northumberland Heath in “phoning me” shocker … they have somebody who would like to view my house and she wants to move very very quickly. Talk about a last-minute surge! I set up the appointment for Thursday evening, go for a “quick drink after work” and get too drunk to make the house presentable.

Thursday evening – charge home from work to make the house presentable. Viewer arrives with her daughter. Loves the house. LOVES it. Is Your Move suddenly going to rise phoenix-like from the flames of my rage? She has a house to sell but has a second viewing booked on Saturday from a lady who is going to make an offer. As soon as that is confirmed, she is offering on my house.

Friday afternoon – call from The Halifax. Wow, they are keen. They have been phoning out details of my property and have had a couple of people who don’t like it (one wants period features (the fool) and one only wants to live on the really nasty council estate down the road for some reason) and a few more who said they’d look at full details online. OK, so I don’t have a sale but at least they are doing something. It is day one after all. Oh, and they pick their phones up. A radical sales strategy that Your Move does not follow.

Saturday morning – I have a house to view (it’s hideous). On the way I notice that the family who have offered on my house have changed agents. When I get home I look up the details and they have dropped the price again. This means they will probably get a quick sale now. But does it mean that they wont be able to afford mine?

Saturday afternoon – The Halifax calls. Some identical twins want to view the house. They are first-time buyers with a mortgage in place and the only thing they say is essential is that their house has 2 identically sized bedrooms. My house is the only one in the area to offer 2 identically sized bedrooms. Twin number 1 comes with her Mum (sister is working) … they love it. They take my number and will call back directly today (Sunday) to arrange for Twin number 2 to come round. Then they’ll phone the agent to offer on Monday. If we get the deal sewn up, they can complete within 48 days. I do a little dance of joy.

So … this coming week is either going to result in a sale and me being saddled with a massive mortgage on a big house I can’t afford. Or it’s going to result in total silence from all the interested parties and me crashing back down to earth again …

My predictions are:

Elderly couple – will never be heard from again
Original buyers who have changed agents – will sell their maisonette very quickly but not be able to afford mine any more
Mum and daughter – wont get an offer on their house so will not make an offer on mine
Identical twins – wont phone today although I’ll wait in all day with the house looking like a show home in case they suddenly call to say they are 2 minutes away

Cynical, moi?!!!!



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