Putting the Jumbo in Jet

On the way home from my interview I decided to pop into Marks and Spencer to buy a few essentials (food to binge eat whilst watching Jeremy Kyle). At the till the cashier turned to me and asked “Can you still take crayons and pencils on flights in hand luggage?”

Er … how the hell would I know? I haven’t been on a plane for years. The nearest thing to a holiday I’ve had is camping at Glastonbury and business trips have never really featured very heavily on my professional agenda.

She seemed to need an answer so I mumbled something about how I didn’t see how it could be a problem and probably best to ask the airline.

“I bet you get questions like this all the time,” she continued “… it must feel like you’re always on duty”

I smiled vaguely and left. As quickly as I could. It wasn’t until I was safely out of the shop that I realised my attempt at looking corporate and professional in order to impress potential city employer had actually made me look like cabin crew. I then realised that this probably meant I looked young, thin and attractive. WIN.

I then thought about stereotyped opinions about cabin crew – perma-tanned trolley dollys, glorified waiting staff. Did this mean I looked thick?

I then thought (bear in mind all of these thoughts took a few seconds to process, just a bit longer for me to write down and for you to read) – hang on, perhaps she thought I was ground staff. You don’t have to be young, thin and attractive to work behind a desk at the airport.

And my final thought was why have I just assumed she thought I was an Air Hostess, why didn’t I assume she thought I was a pilot? Is it because I’m a girl? Or is it because I have a secret desire to deal with z-list celebrity air rage?

I think I’m going to stop analysing and put it down to post-interview stress.

I’m off to make a cup of tea. The emergency exits are to the rear. Please fasten your seatbelt and turn off your mobile phone.

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