We are England, no-one likes us

This week England failed to secure the 2018 World Cup, despite a bid that many independent opinions felt was the strongest of all the countries in the mix. We certainly brought out our big guns – the Prime Minister, the future King and the biggest footballing icon the modern world has seen (David Beckham, in case you were wondering).

But we only secured two votes – one of these votes was from England. So, we only secured ONE vote that was actually up for grabs. To lose the England vote is like having your Mum vote against you (that has happened to me by the way).

So what the hell is wrong with England? It can’t all be down to corruption, bungs and Panorama. Can it?

I think England, as a nation, is suffering from the same bad luck as me. I am a very good singer. I am a pretty good actress. I am a terrible dancer BUT I do move across a stage bloody well, given that my main thing is singing, and then acting. With this in mind, I suffer from two things

1. The facts in the previous paragraph are just that. Facts. People don’t like that. Nobody likes somebody with an opinion of themselves. Even if that opinion is fact. My “over confidence” has, I would say, lost me around 6 parts I desperately wanted (3 of them were Nancy in Oliver!) – but I hate people who play down how good they are and I expect other people to be the same. Unfortunately, they are generally not.
2. I’m not a good enough actress to play down the cockiness. So it’s a bit of a vicious circle.

So, how do I get to play Nancy in 2026?


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