My musical taste doesn’t have many surprises for people who know me. If you’re being kind you’ll say it’s “eclectic”, if you’re being a little more cynical, you’ll say it’s “embarrassing”. So when it comes to songs people wouldn’t expect me to love, you can include pretty much all RnB “music” as well as bland boyband shite produced by generic groups of pretty boys who are there to look “fit” rather than to make a massive impact on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
The biggest surprises in my music collection are probably the presence of the Black Eyed Peas and, when I get my act together and download something, Jessie J. But it’s not all that surprising.
So, I decided to look at today’s challenge from a different angle. Given my loathing for manufactured pop crap, I decided to go for the most obvious “artist” that I wouldn’t like. And that is definitely Justin Bieber. I just do not GET Bieber Fever. I appreciate that I’m not exactly target audience in that I’m not 12. And when I was 12 my celeb crushes weren’t on kids the same age as me (or who looked it). Musically I was madly in love with Duran Duran – men who wrote their own songs, played their own instruments and hung around with models. Not a teenage kid who looks like a 40 year old lesbian and pretends not to have a girlfriend for fear of upsetting the rabid bunch of fangirls who clog up Twitter’s daily trending topics with their inane ramblings about how this talentless small child is the greatest gift the world has seen.
I tweeted the other day expressing amazement that Bieber’s fans thought he should play Glastonbury – if he did, it would be a commercial disaster for Mr Eavis and co. as kids under 12 get into the festival for free. In response, I got a message from somebody telling me that they could help me get Justin to follow me back. Why on EARTH would I want Justin Bieber to follow me on Twitter?
So, today, in honour of terrible terrible generic pop music, my song choice is the middle aged lesbian’s biggest song (I think). With lyrics to challenge Stephen Sondheim’s genius, I give you “Baby” by Justine Bieber. (Don’t worry, you don’t have to listen to it if you don’t want to. I didn’t).