Now we’re talking. For some reason I’ve had my funeral planned out for years, sort of like normal girls do with weddings. It’s not that I really expect a huge out-pouring of grief – I’m actually not sure anybody would show up or even know I’m dead – but I’m such a control freak that I like to think I could lay down the rules for my last hurrah followed by one hell of a piss up.
So, what’s the play list?
I gave funerals some thought when Princess Diana tragically died. Ironically, on the night that it all happened, I was watching Madonna’s version of Evita. The opening song has resonated. I’d like this as my coffin is brought in. Chris can sing it. He needs to play Che (does this work as a will?)
Then we move on to the eulogies. I may have to pay people to do these and will probably write them myself. Again, I’d like one of my singer/musican friends to sing this afterwards:
Then it’s my turn. Sorry, it is my funeral. The least you can do is listen to me one more time. I’d love to do a medley of all the parts I’ve never managed to get but I believe churches charge by the hour these days. So let’s sum the whole thing up …
One more tribute. Another show I doubt I’ll do but a song that hits home. Mack and Mabel. Mack’s song to Mabel after her final overdose … I’ve always seen Richard singing this one.
And then it’s time for my coffin to leave the church (do I get a church funeral? not sure) and go for burial – I have a bit of a phobia about cremations, maybe it’s the vampire girl in me – there’s only one song that’ll do for that …
Some people think that’s a comedy choice. It really isn’t. I was brought up on Wizard of Oz. It’s the only musical that can bring down the curtain.
Then – if this is a will – I want you to all go and party like you’ve never partied before. There’ll be money behind the bar. Drink white booze. And remember the good bits!