Thank God for that. No longer a smug teetotal loser. The sort who can sit in the pub sipping a J2O and commenting “I don’t need to drink to have a good time. I’m really mad, me. I’m crrrrrrrrrrrazy”. You know, the type of madcap, zany, crazy fool who goes home alone and cries into her cats that she has no friends.
This month has been particularly challenging as, not only did I have a number of nights out, I also had a SHOW WEEK. Anybody who has ever been in a show with me knows that ‘Show Week’ is my equivalent of Fresher’s Week. Often a glass of wine before each performance. Always a hip flask backstage with medicinal vodka in it. And essentially at least three or four huge white wines in the nearest boozer after the show. But not this time. This time I sipped on my J20 and went home sober. You’d think this would have made it easier to work during the week but actually it didn’t. Instead of passing out in a drunken stupor the second my head hit the pillow, I lay awake fretting about having to get through the next day at work before doing another show. At least when I’m drinking I get some sleep, even if I do wake up with a banging head.
Not only that. I also had AUDITIONS. Nobody does auditions sober. Do they? Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong all these years. And if auditions don’t start with a drink, they definitely end with one. Those sorrows are not going to drown themselves. But no, mine were drowned in diet coke.
So, January is done. Do I feel healthier? Possibly. I think I’m sleeping a bit better. I think I’ve got a bit more energy. And of course I’ve had more time as I haven’t written off half of the weekend lying in bed waiting for the room to stop spinning.
The next month in my ‘year of abstinence’ is the shortest. And it’s no surprise that this month I’ve opted to give up “crisps”. I thought long and hard about this one. Technically a lot of savoury snacks do not count as “crisps” – Mini Cheddars, Twiglets, I could probably even state a case for Doritos … so I’ve decided to be hardcore and this month’s ban is “Crisps and other savoury snacks”. As I write, I am inhaling a packet of M&S Wobbly Worms in a feeble attempt to cover up the salty, potato-based product gap in my lunch menu.
This is going to be a LOT harder than booze.
God this health and fitness thing is boring. Today has been one big chain of temptation.
Woke up. It was cold. Toyed with driving to the station. Persuaded myself that as it actually takes longer to drive than it does to walk, I could cope with the 13 minute stroll to get my train. On the way I finally figured out why I loathe walking anywhere. I have stupidly short legs (everything about me is stupidly short to be fair). Everybody can overtake me. Literally everybody. Tall people, short people, pensioners, toddlers … today I was overtaken by a girl who was probably about the same height as me. As she grew more and more distant I watched her and realised I was taking exactly the same number of steps but have about half her “stride”. Stupidly short legs, see. So, to anybody who has ever been frustrated by my inability to keep up – spare a thought for the fact that I’m having to travel at least twice as fast as you just to keep up. Runners would tell me I need to see a podiatrist for a gait analysis. I’d tell them to chill out and walk at my pace.
Anyway, resisted the temptation to buy a second breakfast on arrival at work and got through the morning without eating my lunch until half past twelve. Then managed to avoid the temptation to buy crisps. I walked downstairs to the cafe but somehow will power kicked in.
After work I again did not buy crisps and it didn’t even occur to me to get a bus or a cab home from the station. This is real progress.
Admittedly all the way home I was trying to justify not going to the gym. After all I’d even done some walking today. Somehow, the will power persevered and I went to my pre-booked aqua aerobics class. Aqua aerobics is the only thing I do where I don’t long not to be the youngest person in the class. The average age is probably around 75 – and that’s allowing for the odd 30-something who has turned up. It suits me as it doesn’t put pressure on my buggered knee. But I do feel a twat thrashing about with the pensioners.
Home now and OK I’ve just had a mini bar of chocolate. What do you expect? Miracles.
More healthy food and my first ever Zumba class tomorrow night.
Screw you February – I can DO this.
Filed under Booze, Fitness
Most years I don’t drink alcohol in January. It’s a chance to get over the excesses of the festive season and also a way to prove to myself and the world that I can still go 31 days without a drink. Straight away, that makes me sound like an alcoholic. I’m not. I just like a drink. Actually that’s a lie. I don’t like A drink. I like loads and loads and loads of drinks. I’ve never been the sort of girl who can go into a pub, have one glass of wine and then switch to soft drinks. I don’t see the point. It’s not just booze – why eat a handful of crisps when you can inhale the family pack? Why have one or two segments of a chocolate orange when you know that eventually you’ll eat the whole thing so why not do it now?
You get the general idea? I am a creature of excess.
This now probably gives the impression that I must look like a cross between Heather from Eastenders and Jabba the Hut. I don’t. My “binges” are few and far between and I’m perfectly capable of having crisps, booze and chocolate in the house for weeks – even months – without feeling remotely tempted to consume the lot in one huge mouthful.
This year I didn’t do my January off the booze. I did start the new year with all sorts of intentions of getting healthy, eating well, going to the gym, getting early nights. And not drinking much. Spending much of December with a chest infection rather curtailed my festive drinking, so I didn’t see the need for a complete break.
Unfortunately I’ve now remembered why it is that I can’t spend an evening in a pub without them running out of pinot. I’m a creature of excess, remember? So to succeed in getting healthy, I have to take the same “all or nothing” approach that applies to everything else I do. So, if I want to be healthy, to go to the gym, to eat properly and all that shizzle, I also have to quit the drink.
So, Fit February starts tomorrow. I have free booze on offer at work on Thursday but I can’t have any. I did contemplate starting on Friday and doing it until 4th March but Fit February and Maybe March isn’t what I’ve mentally signed up for. So, it’s soft drinks all round. And let’s see how self-righteous I am by the time we get to the end of the month and I’ve managed to sit in a pub or two without ordering shots.
Filed under Booze, Fitness