I thought this month would be the easiest in terms of my enforced abstinence. I don’t consider myself to have a particularly sweet tooth and booze and crisps are my definite “vices”.
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.
In January I wasn’t remotely tempted by the demon drink. In February I ate three peanuts (savoury snacks were also on the blocked list but I’m definitely not a nutaholic). But this month has been an epic fail. “Sweets and chocolate”. Considering crisps are back in the diet I figured it’d be a piece of cake (so to speak. Does cake count? Not sure).
On 1st March I went out for a meal and at the end of it, happily ate the mints. Sweets. Minty sweets. It didn’t even occur to me that mints were sweets. As the month has progressed I’ve eaten a couple of after dinner mints, some tic tacs (maybe I need a mint free month) and a couple of slices of cake. Oh and some Mars Bar ice cream. And today a bar of white chocolate. None of this was a conscious breaking of my self-imposed law. I just didn’t think.
So, looks like I am a typical girl after all and my month off crisps, sweets AND chocolate is going to be nigh on impossible.
Next month I give up meat. In theory I think that will be very very easy. In reality, will I be able to give up the burgers, the steak, the chicken madras on a Friday night?
After this month’s fail, all bets are off.
Thank God for that. No longer a smug teetotal loser. The sort who can sit in the pub sipping a J2O and commenting “I don’t need to drink to have a good time. I’m really mad, me. I’m crrrrrrrrrrrazy”. You know, the type of madcap, zany, crazy fool who goes home alone and cries into her cats that she has no friends.
This month has been particularly challenging as, not only did I have a number of nights out, I also had a SHOW WEEK. Anybody who has ever been in a show with me knows that ‘Show Week’ is my equivalent of Fresher’s Week. Often a glass of wine before each performance. Always a hip flask backstage with medicinal vodka in it. And essentially at least three or four huge white wines in the nearest boozer after the show. But not this time. This time I sipped on my J20 and went home sober. You’d think this would have made it easier to work during the week but actually it didn’t. Instead of passing out in a drunken stupor the second my head hit the pillow, I lay awake fretting about having to get through the next day at work before doing another show. At least when I’m drinking I get some sleep, even if I do wake up with a banging head.
Not only that. I also had AUDITIONS. Nobody does auditions sober. Do they? Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong all these years. And if auditions don’t start with a drink, they definitely end with one. Those sorrows are not going to drown themselves. But no, mine were drowned in diet coke.
So, January is done. Do I feel healthier? Possibly. I think I’m sleeping a bit better. I think I’ve got a bit more energy. And of course I’ve had more time as I haven’t written off half of the weekend lying in bed waiting for the room to stop spinning.
The next month in my ‘year of abstinence’ is the shortest. And it’s no surprise that this month I’ve opted to give up “crisps”. I thought long and hard about this one. Technically a lot of savoury snacks do not count as “crisps” – Mini Cheddars, Twiglets, I could probably even state a case for Doritos … so I’ve decided to be hardcore and this month’s ban is “Crisps and other savoury snacks”. As I write, I am inhaling a packet of M&S Wobbly Worms in a feeble attempt to cover up the salty, potato-based product gap in my lunch menu.
This is going to be a LOT harder than booze.